Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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