Its about making memories worth repressing
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
