Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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