We are two peas in an std pod
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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