playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
