This is not my ceiling
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
