I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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