Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
