There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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