oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
