At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
