dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
