just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
