Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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