Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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