That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize