So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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