I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
