he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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