Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
