There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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