I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
