so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
tell me about the eggs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
