i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
