PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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