I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
