I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
