i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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