its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
