come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize