Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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