Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
