do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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