what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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