I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
