Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
