I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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