i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
