can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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