it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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