an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
