talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
