Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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