Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
