i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize