I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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