The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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