i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Randomize
