So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
