YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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