my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
porn star boner night. come get it.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
