I am puke
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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