He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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