WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Porn is love you can see.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
