I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
