he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
