I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
