Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
