i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
