YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
