Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
