Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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