i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
