Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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