am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
