I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
