Barsexuality is the new black.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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