what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
